Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Stupid Snowshoe Hare

(ala - thanks IAmWrite for the link)

Who do you think you are, being all cute and cuddly and shit when I'm supposed to be at work? I mean, who asked you to bounce around in the snow, playing tag with each other on the other side of those trees right where I can see you as I'm walking by? Who asked you to wiggle your noses and lick your ears like something out of a sparkly-eyed anime fantasy?

Where do you get off having such big feet? Don't you realize how absolutely ridiculous it is to hop around on feet that are as big as your already ridiculous oversized ears? Come on, rabbit-thingy, no one actually believes that the size of your feet has anything to do with the size of your penis.

And your color. White? Really?? Not even cute Easterbunny white, like you just got washed with bluing and need to be wrapped up in a big pink bow, but dirty yellowish white that blends in with the dirty, yellowish snow. Guess what Snowshoe hare? I can see you anyway.

I can see you over there doing what bunnies do best. Flirting. And F***ing. And looking cute and cuddly, when I know that those big feet of yours would scratch the heck out of my eyeballs if I were to do what I wanted to and take you home to live with my teddy bear.

So, geesh, Snowshoe hare. Could you please be a little more considerate of those of us who have to work sometimes?

No comments: